Becoming Astoria Malfoy
by C.N.B
Summary: The adventures of Astoria & Draco as they begin the road to marriage. Can they overcome their parents, a tragic death, & Draco's hobby of keeping secrets? Astoria's POV mostly, Draco's occasionally. Includes fluffy, funny flashbacks of the pair's past.
1. Chapter 1

Light spilled onto my eyelids, stirring me awake from a re-occuring creepy dream; I was glad for morning. Sweat clung to the over-sized t-shirt I'd thrown on before collapsing in bed last night in little bunches on my back. Absolutely disgusting. I rolled over.

Draco Malfoy was still snoring away peacefully, blonde strands of hair hanging cautiously over his eyes. I pushed them back gently. It was times like these (when I was so close to him I could feel his heart vibrating the sheets beneath us) that I seriously wondered what it would be like without him. My fingers found their way to his cheek and stroked the warm skin from his temple to his chin. Draco had a really nice chin; I wondered...if we ever conceived a child...would the baby have a chin like his? Or maybe his eyes. I could die happy staring into those shades of gray...

Draco stirred suddenly, snapping me out of my adoration. I cleared my throat and sat up quickly.

"'Morning," He smiled up at me, still dazed with sleep. I smiled back nervously.

"Good morning."

He shifted, lying on his back and crossing his arms beneath his head. His eyelids fluttered closed again, and I struggled to untangle myself from the sheets before I was caught counting his eyelashes. He glanced up at me.

"Going somewhere?"

I couldn't keep the smile off my face at his flirty tone; I turned to hide it, heading to the coffee-maker. He chuckled. The silky sheets sounded like windchimes as he rose from the bed as well, and I could feel him walking towards me. Every footstep tingled my spine.

His arms wrapped around my waist playfully.

"May I help you?" I teased, and he gave an amused smirk.

"Trying to play hard to get, Greengrass?"

"More like trying to make some coffee." I slid out from under his arms and filled the rumbling machine with water.

Draco raised his eyebrows at me and sat down on the bed with an uneasy smile, pretending the lack of making out was hurting his feelings. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"And what would you like to do today, sir?"

He smiled mischieviously. "Get you back in bed. And stay there, all day."

I walked over and stood between his legs, cupping his face in my hands and kissing his forehead. I nuzzled my nose to his cheek and ran my fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

"We have plenty of time, Draco," I said softly, "But I need coffee now. Bad night."

He kissed my neck. "Another bad dream?"

I resisted the urge to press my face against his chest and hold it there for the rest of my life.

"Mhm."

"Maybe we should look into those, love. Dream journal?"

I snorted. "That sounds ridiculous."

He chuckled and then made his voice sound the way it used to, back when I first met him. He squared his shoulders firmly to add the effect. "It's my idea, therefore it is not ridiculous."

"Hmm, so conceited!" I teased, and he laughed and grabbed my waist, pulling me on top of him. We kissed for a minute, and then I crawled off the bed and caught a glimpse of my hair in the mirror. I sighed. It looked like I'd been hit a couple time by a truck. My eyes wandered to the clock. Almost 9am. Damn.

Draco pulled a shirt over his head and began digging through the dresser for some pants. He slipped them on and then paused, glancing over to me.

"If you don't want to go to work today, I can pull some strings-"

"No. No, that's okay, honey. But thanks." My eyes were still on my reflection, weary and weather-worn. I attempted to give him a smile.

He raised his eyebrows at me and continued rushing to get ready, fixing his tie. He threw on his shoes one at a time and stopped behind me on the way to the door. He pulled my bed-head hair over my shoulders and smiled.

"Astoria." His voice got all soft, the way it did when he purposely wanted to make my heart melt inside my chest. As overly self-assured, tempermental, and ignorant Draco could be, there was at least three other traits five times better, hidden inside him. I breathed like it was my second-to-last breath. Whatever Draco had wanted to say next, it was disappearing. I saw it in his eyes.

"Yes?" I supplied quickly, innocently, and he turned my shoulders carefully so I was facing him.

Draco Malfoy cleared his throat as if he was nervous. The first word and the last word of that sentence was something I've never heard of, but here he was, standing in front of me, his eyes a mixture of fear and excitement. My own heart started racing.

"I suppose I should do this the right way." He smirked at me, the way he did on our first date that slightly turned me on and annoyed me at the same time. I swallowed.

Soon enough he was on one knee, and had taken my limp hand in his. The other hand found its way under the bed and came back up with a tiny silver velvet box.

"Astoria Greengrass, I love you."

My heart skipped a couple beats. I tried to slow my breathing. Draco smiled, eyes sly, and ignored my spazz-matic behavior.

"Will you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?"


	2. Chapter 2

**continued:**

"Will you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?"

My eyes must've widened a bit, because his surely did, staring up at me with determination. The gray of his eyes suddenly looked more like silver. Draco Malfoy always knew how to get what he wanted.

"Yes," I breathed, "I mean, I do. I-I love you." I laughed nervously before I could stop myself. My cheeks were blushing fiercely.

Draco chuckled, standing and kissing me. We kissed for a long time; I thought about letting him carry me back into bed and ripping off the clothes he'd just put on until I remembered something. I suddenly stopped, holding my hand to his chest. He stared down at me, confused.

"Is there a problem?"

"Do…do I get to wear the ring?" I asked sheepishly, and he blinked twice before remembering the velvet box still in his hand. He laughed the way a man who has everything would laugh, and I let a smile creep onto my lips.

He took my left hand gently, and then opened the box and removed the ring. It shined under the ceiling fan light, a dazzling silver stone bright amongst engravings of roses and snakes; there was a faint "M" on the inside. I held my breath, watching it as if it were some rare animal about to leap at me.

Draco slid it on my finger proudly. "The "M" is for Malfoy, love. It was what my grandfather gave my grandmother, before she passed." He raised his eyebrows a little, still smiling. "Of course, I had it fixed up a bit. Do you like it?"

I was busy tracing my finger around the stone incredulously. I looked up at him quickly.

"It's perfect."

"I'm glad. So, still want to go to work?" He asked slowly, kissing up and down my neck. I nearly giggled, but stopped myself. I was practically a Malfoy, now, after all.

"Hmm, don't know, I have a lot of work to get done," I said, failing at holding back a smile. I bit my lip playfully. He smoothed his fingers down my hips.

"Shame, I'm just loving that hair of yours right now."

Smiling, I spun around and looked in the mirror one more time. There was the same Astoria Greengrass, with her blonde hair in waves that were never curls, brown eyes that couldn't be compared to the moon or sun or any other celestial body, her lips never full enough, her cheeks continuously rosy, her only slightly curvy body hidden under a raggy over-sized t-shirt.

Draco saw me staring, counting my flaws, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Mrs. Malfoy, you are absolutely stunning."

I smiled nervously. "Mrs. Malfoy." I repeated proudly.

"Yes." He took my hand in his happily. "I believe today deserves a day off work."

"Definitely."

"Astoria?"

"Yes?"

"It might be a good idea to inform your parents."

**Hey guys, hope you enjoyed this short little addition. I like writing in her POV so another will definitely be on the way. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Continued:**

My breath caught a little. Damn, parents. I quickly ran my fingers nervously through my hair to keep from sighing or looking too disappointed.

It wasn't like my mom and dad would totally oppress the idea; they were mad when I had left the house to move in with Draco, but I always thought it was more frustration that I was living my own life than anything. Daphne had gotten married, after all. Another one of their little girls gone off with a boy…It makes sense for them to not fully support it. My mom, after all, _would_ be the one to have empty nest syndrome.

I looked up at Draco and he stared back at me.

"Yes, I suppose we should go visit." I agreed quietly, and then waited for him to say something like:

"_Oh yes! And after that I'm sure my parents would be just _delighted_ to have us over for lunch while we profess our love!"_

But of course, that was just my wishful imagination.

Draco's parents were a different story. They knew that my grandparents were muggles, and that their blood ran through my veins just as surely as my heart continued to beat.

My grandmother and grandfather had a witch for a daughter, my mother, and she had fell in love at Hogwarts with another wizard, my father, and here my sister and I are. But that didn't matter to Lucious and Narcissa. There were "normal" cells somewhere in my body, so I was as shunned as a donkey would be from their royal presence.

This thought brought a slight scowl to my lips, and Draco took a long breath, already knowing what I was thinking of.

"We'll have to tell mine, too. I can't go without telling them." He said, a slight bit of annoyed frustration in his voice. Knowing Draco closely for the past 2 years, I understood that his attitude was rarely pointed towards me, but to the world and everyone else who dared interfere with his happiness. That's how he was raised.

Not that I'm surprised, his dear mummy and daddy would spit on me at my own wedding reception.

I wiped the rude thought off my mind at once and returned my attention to my fiancée. He was sitting on the bed again, shoulders slightly drooped, eyes in thought.

"Draco, you know I don't care what they say to me."

"But I do!" Draco groaned. "God, I wish they'd get over themselves."

I sat next to him and slid my fingers into his hand, massaging his palm. "Let's just stop by, let them know, invite them, and get out of there. And I won't hold anything they say to heart, 'cause we're definitely getting married. Deal?"

Draco and I locked eyes for a second, and his mouth rose back into a smile. Most likely making fun of my strong American accent, but I was happy to see him happy all the same. His voice sounded like milk pouring into a tall glass.

"Deal."

I leaned in and kissed him, opening my lips slightly to his. Dancing. It's what our lips did when pressed together.

How could our parents ever interfere with that?

**To be continued.**

**(By the way, is it very weird that I freak out when I see that over a hundred people are reading this right now? Oh well, I'm new. Thanks for taking an interest in my work!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Continued:**

It was only at 11am that I realized I still looked like some sort of Monster From the Drain.

I took a shower, did my hair (which here means brushed it, put a drop of product in it, and decided I was done because Draco's mother's hair wasn't anything special either, right? Oh, who was I kidding…Her long straight platinum blonde locks were gorgeous) and put on my make-up as slowly as possible, admittedly trying to stall time a little.

Draco and I spent the next hour kissing, talking, and being one of those unbelievably adorable couples that sometimes annoy me just the slightest.

I leaned in to kiss him again after a short drabble of flirting—in an attempt to go another half hour-and he pulled back slightly.

"Astoria, we have to get it over with."

I nodded, guilty. _Damn._ "I know. I'm sorry."

"Ready?" He asked, and I recognized the tone. It always appeared when Draco was a little too stressed.

"Sure."

My voice was uneasy, I knew it. I attempted to give him a smile, but he was already on his feet. He took my hand and led me out the door before I could change my mind.

My house was first on our route; I knew it would be, and that eased me a little.

We pulled up to the drive-way, next to the little hedges that were always kept tidy and the big sycamore tree I used to climb as a little kid. When Draco and I had first started dating, I showed him the tree and he had said it was stupid.

_"Have you ever even climbed a tree before?" I asked sketically. He crossed his arms defensively._

_"There's absolutely no point to-"_

_"Have you, Draco?"_

_"...No."_

_His voice was as bitter as my father's tea. I saw the change in his eyes before he could stop it: the dirty look, as if I was an annoyance, slowly changing into frustration and then longing. I could see at once that this was a boy who wasn't used to not having something that another person did have, even if it was only an experience. I dropped my teasing tone._

_"Well, come here." I took his hand and led him towards the tree. Carefully, I lifted myself onto the opening in the trunk, hopped up onto the first branching of the trunk and turned to sit on the seventh branch. He stared up at me, bewildered._

_"Here, raise your hands and grab there," I instructed, and he contemplated whether or not he should listen to me for a couple seconds until he obeyed. After he was high enough for me to reach, I grasped his arm and began to pull him onto my branch._

_"Hey! Stop!" He hissed, trying not to yell. He looked a bit panicked, freezing on the branch he was on. I squinted at him, confused._

_"Draco, you need help to jump from this side to-"_

_"I don't need help!" He growled firmly, frustrated with himself. I wasn't so sure; he was still pinned in place, probably nervous that he had to let go and rely on me to hold him up while he climbed over. I moved myself so I was a little more in his view, closer to him._

_"Don't look down," I warned softly, but his eyes were already glued to the grass about 18 feet below us. "Draco, it's your first time. Look at me."_

_He slowly looked up at me, seemingly considering whether he should chicken out or just stay frozen there._

_"T-This is stupid." He grumbled nervously. I leant over and took his hand._

_"Just trust me, okay?"_

We ended up at the top of the tree by the time night came. Right when the sun touched the ground, Draco turned and kissed me, interrupting me mid-sentence. I nearly toppled to my death with happiness.

BANG.

When Draco slammed the car door shut, the blinds on the window opened ever so slightly, revealing a pair of eyes that had to belong to my mother. We heard the door burst open at once.

"Astoria, darling!" My mother crooned, cupping my face in her hands immediately. She kissed my forehead four times before she noticed Draco.

"And Draco, how lovely!" Her eyes were filled with pleasant surprise but her voice was noticeably higher as she gave him an awkward hug. I tried not to laugh.

Draco smiled politely. "Pleasant seeing you too, Mrs. Greengrass."

"Yes," I said, "Can we come in?"

"Of course, of course, get in here you two," Her smile was a little too wide; I knew she must be suspicious. She stepped aside and gestured quickly for us to come inside.

She led us into the living room, pausing to show me her new knick-knacks for the hallway walls. We sat side-by-side on the couch.

"Honey!" My mom yelled to the stairs on her way to the kitchen. "Astoria and Draco are here to visit!"

**Hope you liked chapter 4! Send me a message or leave a review? Thanks for reading. xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, thanks so much for your patience for chapter 5! I went on a vacation, gaining a tan and some fresh ideas for Astoria. This chapter is the longest yet, (sarcasm: A whole 1,500 words? Noo way!) I hope you like it!**

**By the way, thanks for the reviews and messages. I adore constructive criticism, thank you thank you thank you. By the time you're reading this, I'll be reading everyone who favorited/reviwed this' stories. I owe you. xxx Chelsea**

**Continued:**

My mother conjured together some teacups and filled them each with some sort of brew that smelled of sweet raspberries. I never could tell what type of tea my mother ever served; she was always making delicious creations of her own.

Draco took a sip of his as soon as she handed it to him and managed to put it down just as quickly, clanking the table a little. I bit back a laugh. He hated sweet beverages…It was incredible the way he kept his face so straight.

There were a couple of thumps coming from the stairs, and my dad made his way down slowly. When he saw me he gave me a tired grin. I hopped off the couch and met him halfway, nearly tipping him over with a tight hug. He laughed quietly.

"My youngest daughter," He said slowly, swaying me back and forth in his heavy arms. "I thought I would die before I would see my Astoria again."

The way his eyes shined made me uncomfortably guilty. I squeezed his hand.

"Of course not, Dad. In fact…" I swallowed lightly, my eyes drifting with his towards Draco, "You'll be seeing a lot more of both of us."

My father was quiet for half a second, and my mother jumped to save the conversation.

"Oh, dear, wouldn't that be lovely! What's the occasion?"

I flicked my wand wrist once, and suddenly two chairs appeared underneath my parents' legs. Draco was at my side in a second, trying to hold his chin high in the way his father does. My mother's eyes narrowed.

"Mom and dad, we've decided….I mean, we're…" I trailed off, forgetting the little speech about love and fairytales and happily ever afters I'd memorized on the way here. Next to me, Draco stepped forward slightly.

"I would like to your beautiful daughter to be joined to myself in eternal marriage." He smiled proudly.

My parents' eyes immediately shot to my face. I cleared my throat.

"W-What he said."

The awkward silence must have been at the very least 10 seconds. Always the life-saver, my mother had Draco and I in a hug before I could get panicked.

"Merlin's beard, thank the heavens!" She cried, wiping tears that weren't there on her cheeks. "For a second there, I thought you were pregnant! I mean, look at this face, I'm simply too young!" She elbowed Draco playfully.

My father was still quiet, studying us with his artists' eyes. His expression was content. Draco stepped closer to him, bending down and whispering something I couldn't hear; my mother was still chirping in my ear, this time about reception colors and types of flowers for my bouquet. After a minute, my father nodded and both men smiled at each other.

My heart thumped with adoration as Draco reached to help my father out of his chair. Had his muscles ever been so lean and chiseled before now? Had his face ever been so stunning? I was never in love with Draco as much as I was in that moment of camaraderie between him and my father.

"Anyways, darling, you'd better bring me back a grand-baby before I die!" My mother was still going at it. "I swear, that Daphne, all she wants with her husband is to explore the muggle world. Nothing but adventures for that girl." She clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "But I know you'll be the domestic type of wife! In fact, I'll give you all my sweet-tea recipes. I know how Draco loves them!"

Draco forced a smile. "Lovely."

I hooked his arm in mine, hugging it against me. If we started on tea recipes and domestic principles now, we'd never get home.

"Well, it's best we get going, many people to tell," I started, smiling politely, and then I saw the disappointment in my father's eyes. I hesitated.

"We'll definitely be back soon, papa," I said, more quietly, and my mother had stuffed a handful of tea recipes in Draco's free arm before he could do anything but nod.

They both waved at us through the window as we left. It was that moment I noticed something I'd always subconsciously known for years; My parents were obvious opposites of each other. My father did not smile as he waved, his actions slow and careful. My mother, on the other hand, was quick, sharp, social. I smiled sadly at them both.

As our car drove through the open sky to the nicer part of the wizarding world, (Where else could the Malfoys be located?) I remembered what my mother had said. A baby. I wondered what Draco and I would be like as parents. My eyes wandered to him.

His normally perfectly sweeped hair was falling apart from the wind, his gray eyes watching the sky ahead with determination, one hand tight on the steering wheel. He looked too handsome to be nervous.

I wove my fingers into his free hand and kissed every knuckle. He smiled a familiar smile, eyes soft.

"_Draco, are you there? It's 'Storie!" I called, tossing another fat rock at his window. It missed, crashing loudly with the elves' gardening tools below. I clapped one hand against my mouth. Oops._

_Nine-year-old Draco Malfoy stuck his head through the window, annoyed._

"_Astoria!" He hissed, leaning down cautiously to study the damage._

"_So sorry! Did I wake your mother from her nap?"_

"_Did you wake my mother….? Oh." His face loosened, uncomfortable. "No, I'm alone. Come in through the back."_

_I nodded, my eyebrows raised slightly at his exhausted expression, and clambered through the doorway at the back of the house._

"_Hi," Draco said nervously, just coming down the stairs. My eyes widened._

_His face was pale, even paler than usual, and it made his red-rimmed eyes look worse. It was the first time I'd ever seen his hair so untidy or his clothes such a mess. He took a deep breath once he noticed I was taking all this in, and I winced at how uneven his breath was._

"_Are you okay?"_

_Too much concern in my voice, I knew that's what he had to be thinking. He smirked._

" _Didn't someone teach you that it's not polite to stare?"_

_I ignored his comment. "Are you sick?"_

_He sat down on one of the marble chairs close by and shrugged. His face lost the attitude and went back to silent exhaustion. "I think so."_

_I inched closer to him and gently put the back of my hand against his forehead. His skin was too warm to be healthy._

"_Where's your mom and dad?"_

_His mouth turned into a scowl. "Working," He said, drawling the word out bitterly._

"_Hmm." My eyes drifted to the empty countertops, all shining proudly against the ceiling lights. "Did your mom or dad leave medicine for you? Or maybe they're coming home soon. There are spells to cool fevers."_

"_They aren't coming home soon," He replied sharply, "And there is no medicine in the house. We need magic."_

_We locked eyes for a second, and I took in his tired expression. Eyes soft, helpless. It was always like this. It seemed, for a boy who had everything, there was much he was missing out on as well. Why weren't his parents ever home to make him happy all these times? I heard my mother talk about Death Eater rumors, but I would never tell Draco about them. What if he didn't know himself?_

_My heartbeat thumped five beats while we stared at each other. Never before did I wish I could master magic so strongly than in that moment; I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to conjure up some medicine, take the burn of the fever away, bring his parents home. It was like a punch to the stomach every time he frowned._

_My nine-year-old body squirmed unhappily. Why did it feel this way?_

_Draco sighed impatiently. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm under the weather. You can leave."_

"_If I leave, who'll take care of you?"_

_He blinked at me, a little surprised. "'Storie, you don't—"_

"_My mom makes this really great tea, it's good for sick days," I started, already kicking off my shoes and heading into the kitchen. "I only barely know how to make it but you said yourself your mother isn't coming back soon, so we'll have plenty of time to try it, right? I can stay 'till night, even. It'll be fun, you need company." _

_Draco listened quietly, nodding during the short times I paused to breath. For the tiniest second, I could nearly feel his eyes radiate with gratitude. If hearts could smile, mine would be grinning._


	6. Chapter 6

_I know, I know. I'm late. New chapter! (:_

_ENJOY!_

The Malfoy Manor loomed ominously across the fresh-cut grass and tall, dark oaks that covered the front yard. My eyes wandered over every detail; The Victorian-style roof, every old engraving cut with expert precision down the sides of the double front doors, and the way the wood holding the glass windows was slightly, just slightly, splintered at the pane.

I didn't know whether to be intrigued or intimidated by the building.

Draco had something different in his eyes when he looked at it. Remembrance was brutal, I could tell. I felt like I should say something, or maybe reach out to touch him, but that would interrupt. He wasn't sad, nor was he bitter. Just filled with memories.

After a long silence, he nodded to himself and cleared his throat, striding towards me calmly.

"Shall we go knock?" He asked, too polite. Already acting apathetic, and Narcissa and Lucius were nowhere in sight. I nodded and pushed the word out of my throat.

"Yes."

Draco rapped on the white wood 3 times before a house elf swung the door open.

"Master Draco," He babbled incredulously, and right away dropped to his knees.

"Yes, yes, Ithacan, hurry off the floor now," He said, slightly annoyed. "I've come to speak to my mother and father."

Ithacan picked himself up quickly and gave me a sideways glance. "Master…she is not of Malfoy descent. She is not a thorough pureblood!"

Draco's eyes narrowed.

"Is this…a problem?" He asked quietly, raising his chin in almost the exact same manner Lucius did.

The elf was breathing more heavily now. "No master, no! Ithacan just assumed, Ithacan just thought…"

"You thought wrong. I want my parents _now_."

I'd never in my life seen house elf run so fast.

We sat down on a nearby black-leather loveseat, in front of a large fireplace and just left to the grand staircase. I looked down at the beautiful ring on the left ring finger nervously. The M on the inside of it matched the M engraved upon the wall on the second story perfectly. It declared, in the finest of metal, that I belonged here. But my heart was still at my feet.

I heard the tapping first, the elegant patter of heels against the fine wood of the stairs, and then a platinum-blonde head came into sight. The woman was thin, tall, and dressed in a long black silk-fabric dress, dark pearls escalating down the right side.

I had to admit, Narcissa Malfoy always knew how to make an entrance.

Her eyes caught sight of my staring, and she merely cleared her throat in displeasure. I looked down at my shoes and up again nervously.

"Mother." Draco nodded.

She didn't respond, and I watched as he stood and reached his hand out for her. She breathed impatiently, seemingly deciding something, and with one last glance at me, ignored her son's gesture.

"You wished to speak to me."

Draco's eyes tightened slightly. "I wished to inform you," He corrected slowly, "of something important, something very important to me. Your knowledge of it is crucial, but your understanding is not needed."

Narcissa didn't like what she was hearing. Her mouth twisted into a lady-like scowl, staring into Draco for a second before looking back to me. Her eyes froze, fixating on something.

Something silver, shining off the light from the space between the pinky and middle finger of my left hand.

"Draco…" She muttered, a sound somewhere between a gasp and a hiss and a growl, a sound you'd hear at the zoo if a wild animal had been tranquillized.

"Where is father?" Draco asked urgently, obviously trying to distract her, but her eyes were wide, focusing in on my ring.

Her ring.

I was rooted to the spot, the leather under me suddenly freezing. I didn't belong here. My chest was literally aching with the longing to be back home, in my cluttered apartment room, with the ratty old T-shirt and Draco's arms around me. I sniffed quietly, and tears blurred the room into a kaleidoscope.

"Lucius? Where is Lucius?" Draco demanded, a little louder, and finally Narcissa snapped her face to Draco's.

"Leave." She said, her voice filled with something emotional.

TO BE CONTINUED.

_Thanks for all the lovely feedback on the previous chapters, sorry for the wait. (: I missed you guys a lot. Hope you liked the new addition, and I am going to finish this story._


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys, happy Tuesday! I promised I'd be back. Just to address this, because I know I'll get comments and messages about it: I understand that Astoria is (in the actual book world of Harry Potter) of pureblood descent, and Draco's cousin! However, every time I imagine her, she isn't. And since I am writing in her perspective, everything my imagination uses to describe her, her personality, and her traits get put to wild use, especially because I'm new to fanfiction and I'm so used to creating my own landscape of a character. I'm so sorry if my version of Astoria contradicts with yours! It's just the way I write her. Enjoy the story anyways, and thanks for the feedback! (:

_Draco's shoulder blades moved up slowly, filling air within his chest. I could tell he was trying to be sneaky about it, as he did with almost everything, but I felt the quiet breath exhale warmth onto my neck. A sigh? I fidgeted, moving myself closer on his lap. One of his hands slid automatically around my waist. _

"_Everything okay?"_

"_Mhm." His grip on me relaxed, his back slouching slightly._

_I wanted to roll my eyes but didn't. He never told me anything, and there was so much to share. I was different. Everything that popped in my head was out my mouth in a matter of seconds when it came to Draco. I had always decided that it was only human nature to want the one who was your everything to know everything about you. It was practically relief, a weight off my shoulders; everything I told him seemed to pull us that much closer. Was I not special enough?_

"_Please tell me," I blurted finally, and then waited nervously while he continued breathing._

"_It's none of your concern."_

_I spun around, facing him with a hurt expression. "None of my—"_

"_What I meant to say," He interjected regretfully, "Is that it is nothing you should have to worry about, love."_

_Softly, he ran his fingers through the ends of my hair. He did that when he was nervous. I looked at his face, his eyes. The smirking frown he wore at least once every day, the handsome way his hair came out of its gelled structure at the temples, and the color of his eyes—God, his eyes—light, winding gray. So beautiful._

"_I want to worry about it." I said quietly, overwhelmed with adoration._

_Draco caught me staring. His mouth sort of twisted into a smile, and he chuckled half-heartedly, looking at his hands on the concrete below us._

"_Well," He began, and I hung on the way his accent wove around the Ls, "My mom and dad have been…."_

This memory is all I can think of as Draco is hauling me out of his parents' house, pausing at the start of the driveway to look back at his mother.

Her chin is high, as if she's trying to regain her pride in case a spectator was watching. Draco's eyes dug into hers, but she wouldn't make contact with him.

"As I said before…Your understanding is not needed." He called loudly, angrily, and then led me into the car as quickly as he could.

Right before he could slam his door, a hand reached out and caught it.

Lucius Malfoy pulled the door back open gruffly, wrenching it from Draco's limp hand.

"Disrespecting your mother will get you no understanding at all." He said briefly, and then removed his hand from the door as if it were germ-infested.

Draco stood, facing his father. "I am going to marry Astoria," He said firmly.

Lucius's eyebrows raised slightly. "Really."

It wasn't a question, but I saw Draco's shoulders raise proudly, and he answered it all the same. "Yes. She is the love of my life."

If my heart weren't already beating 50 times the regular rhythm, I'd have been delighted.

"You know she is not of pureblood descent, Draco. If I remember correctly, the Greengrass families' grandparents were born from muggles. Muggle blood." He said muggle like it was a cuss word, spitting it onto the ground.

"So?" Draco asked boldly, obviously filled with anger. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him reaching haphazardly for the wand in his back pocket. I shrunk down in the passenger seat, still hooked under the seat belt. As if that would do me any good if Lucius was ready to rumble.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey guys, hope you're all well. So sorry for the brief chapter. It is an important one though. (: Enjoy!_

Lucius catches sight of Draco's wandering hand soon after I do, and for a second his expression flickers from amusement to surprise. He clenches his jaw slightly.

"Draco Lucius," He drawls quietly, but I could tell it wasn't to warn Draco. It was informing him, persuading him. His middle name was a reminder of who he was.

Draco didn't move, his hand frozen behind his back, his eyes locked with his father's.

For some reason, my muscles wouldn't allow me to just sit there hiding like a coward behind a half-inch strip of fabric. I stood quietly and slithered out of the car as quietly as possible, letting my heart lead me. I walked slowly behind the bushes and flowers, all slightly tinted with gloom, until my fiancée and his father were behind me.

I could hear Lucius whispering taunts again, and Draco hissing responses, but other than that the only sound I was headed towards was the one still in the doorway.

I'm not stupid. I had to keep reminding myself this as I sauntered up the doorway like a robot and plopped my bottom on the step right in front of the door to the Manor as if it were the most casual thing to do at the time. Oh yes, and it just happened to be the spot that put me right next to Narcissa Malfoy.

She was crying. Silently, because ladies do not moan or whimper. I suppose if I were a person of common sense, I would never have sat down within striking distance to Narcissa, and especially not if I was the reason Narcissa was crying in the first place.

Sadly, I am not that person.

"I'm sorry."

"Get away from me," Narcissa said, but there was no vile in her voice. There were only words. Flavorless, simple words.

I smoothed my hands up and down my knees as if I hadn't heard her. My eyes are blurring again. I reach for my ring finger before I can have a second to think.

"Here," I squeak, trying to regain composure, and the Malfoy ring gleams between my fingers, finally resting on the concrete next to Narcissa. I stand up then, done. My legs are shaky as I walk back to the scene. I don't need that ring. A ring is nothing but a materialistic symbol.

When I see Draco and Lucius again, they've shifted around a little, but this time Draco's doing the talking and Lucius is doing the hissing. When Draco sees me, his anger drops.

"Astoria, darling, get in the car," he says lightly, his expression puzzled.

"Draco…" My eyes shift to Lucius and then back to him. "Please. Let's just go."

Draco glances at his father, gives his chest one more puff of pride, and hurries to help me get in the car. Lucius is slinging rude phrases at Draco, but I can't hear them. My heart is heavy, too heavy for all of this.

As Draco's car door slams, a voice chimed in a slightly high-pitched tone. Lucius paused, gazing over at his wife, who is now hanging into Draco's window. She gripped his hand in hers and pressed it against her heart, quickly scooping his neck with her other hand so their foreheads touch gently before letting him loose.

"Narcissa," Lucius grumbles loudly, his voice somewhere between frustration and bewilderment.

"Go," She says, and Draco obeys at once, starting the engine and riding up the air until all I see of the two adults are tiny specks of the most tired-looking people I've ever seen.

Once we're safely above the clouds and on our way to the southwest part of the wizarding world, Draco loosens the hand his mother had held and holds it out for me to take a look at it.

A diamond ring with a tiny "M" gleams back at me.

_(: The next chapter will provide more insight. And hey, guess this marks the beginning of the offical relationship for Draco and Astoria, yeah?_

_Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it. xxxxx_

_-C_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys, I am so so so so sorry for the wait I put you through. To be honest, my computer managed to shut off twice, both times while I was writing this chapter, and I was just too lazy to re-start everything again until tonight when i was thinking of the storyline and realizing how much this chapter is needed!**

**I think you guys'll like it. (: It's long too! To make up for my laziness. But I promised I'd finish this and I shaaalll! Review me how you think everything's going. You guys probably have more talent that I do by a landslide (:**

**Ohhh and, rated nearly PG13 today. It was worse but I decided I'd lay off the descriptive make-out sessions. No need to thank me.**

**Thanks for reading, I hope you guys like it. xoxo -C**

**

* * *

**

I stared at the ring for a long time, numb with emotion, until I felt Draco's thumb stroke my cheeks. I realized there were tears streaming down them.

"Narcissa," I whispered, sniveling like a child, "She gave me the ring."

"She gave you the ring," He repeated absently. His voice filled with wondrous pleasure and then paused into a puzzled tone. "She gave you the ring?"

I smiled slightly, tears still coming. "She was upset about you marrying me, and especially when she saw that you had given me her ring. At least I had thought so," I sniffed, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "So I gave it back to her to show her that I didn't care for stealing away her ring, I just wanted to be with you."

Draco smiled, understanding. He stared back down at it. "And when she came and embraced me, she slipped it into my hand." He chuckled, and his eyes filled with love for his mother. "That is something she would pull."

He turned and looked at me, smiling faintly, and then took my hand.

"You're a lot like her."

My own heart was full to bursting with a newfound pride. Narcissa Malfoy had given her approval of me, and whatever words she didn't say couldn't matter less.

I took the ring and returned it to my left ring finger, giving it a peck right on its diamond exterior before I leaned in to kiss Draco.

* * *

That night, the bad dream I'd had almost every night throughout the past 2 weeks returned.

My body was cold, and achy with the burn of fatigue. I looked down at my legs, but I couldn't feel them. Where was I? I looked around once more, finding it increasingly difficult to lift my head. The walls were narrow, and there were shapes on the wall but I couldn't see them. I didn't like this place. I felt trapped, groggy, dead. My stiff thigh itched against the flooring. A hallway? A passageway? I strained my mind, trying to remember something.

And it always ended there. I'd sit there, in the dream, tortured and paralyzed, and think and think and think until I went insane, unable to move in this horror setting.

But tonight, it was different.

Tonight, something arose from within me and sparked like a match against the walls of my mind. I was aware of a new pain as soon as the realization met my heart. There was the achy feeling, yes; and the pounding of pain throughout every cell, but that didn't seem to matter. The light sank into my chest and thrust my heart in front of me, making me long t move forward. I cried silent tears. The desire to find what was burning inside me was inescapable.

What was this feeling? Love? It seemed more than love. The other half of me was somewhere away from where I was. Fire burst into my eyes.

And in this dream, I stood.

* * *

"Astoria, darling. Wake up."

Draco's mouth was pressed against my ear. He whispered again, but I lost track of what he said, because his lips wandered down to my neck. I sighed, smiling contently, and then it disappeared in a matter of seconds. Something wasn't right.

I fumbled around the sheets and realized that I was bare naked with the exception of my panties. They were on backwards. Crap.

"Draco… Did we…?"

He smiled mischievously.

I fell back against the pillows, eyes wide. "My God. And I missed it?"

"We might've had a drink or two to celebrate." He chuckled, lying down next to me. There was a moment of doubtful silence and then my cheeks reddened awkwardly.

"Was it…" I searched for the right way to ask, feeling childish. "Was it okay?"

Draco blinked at me, and then smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"It was brilliant."

I couldn't help but smile. "Well alright then."

He rolled off the bed, flicking the coffee machine on. One of his T-shirts flew from the dresser and landed next to me. I put it on, grateful.

He grinned, waggling his eyebrows. "You know, you were talking in your sleep this morning. It was quite adorable."

Oh, great. I really was a freak. Sleep-talking? My mind heaved, supplying all sorts of fun possibilities of things I would say unconsciously the morning after Draco and I made love. I coughed.

"Really."

"Mhm. Mostly mumbles, but I did hear a continuous name."

I froze. "What name?"

He was still happy as could be. "Oh, dunno, something unrecognizable. I was almost jealous," He added teasingly, and then kissed my arm up and down.

I giggled stupidly, nervous because I loved him, nervous because he had seen my whole body, nervous because I couldn't live without him, nervous of this new and exciting world.

* * *

_I separated my orange carefully, placing each section of peel on the grass in the shape of a flower. Draco, on the other hand, was ripping his apart; already tearing through the plump, soft inside with his teeth. I watched him with a mixture of disgust and wonder._

"_Calm down, hungry hippo," I teased, and he shot me a glare but slowed._

_Time always betrayed us in the field behind the park, but today had been a good day and the sun was being merciful, the rim of its bright gold sphere not yet kissing the hill. I turned to Draco again and saw him looking the same way._

"_Pretty, huh?"_

_He nodded, chewing more softly. "Pretty."_

_I liked the way the word sounded on his lips. I set my orange down, rolling onto my stomach, and he did the same._

"'_Storie," He said absentmindedly, "D'you suppose when we're older, we turn into our mums and dads?"_

"_Maybe. If you want to, that is," I added, and he nodded solemnly._

_There was a dim silence, and my mind eased back into conversation._

"_Do you want to have kids someday?"_

"_Yes," He answered easily, "Because I'm a very good thrower. If I had a daughter or son, I'd teach them that." His voice dropped, speaking to something unseen and unreachable. "I'd teach them lots."_


	10. Chapter 10

Draco Malfoy couldn't wait for anything. Not when he was child. Not when he was teenager. And now, staring at his hands, big and strong and shaking, he wished he had learned a thing or two about patience.

He sat on the bed in his fiancée's apartment, sneaking glances at the phone placed haphazardly on the floor by the TV. He had tossed it.

Although he didn't know who he was begging to, he begged anyway; that his love would take a detour after work. That she'd be just late enough for him to lose all this anger. He meant to sigh, but it came out as a frustrated growl.

_Why did this happen to him? Always him._ His mind reprimanded him: _Selfish thinking_. That was another thing wrong with him. Whenever a situation brought itself about, the first thing Draco thought of was himself. After that passed, maybe of Astoria, or his mother, or….He struggled to find something else he cared about. It was like grasping for air.

Unhappy with himself, his thoughts turned to Astoria. His lovely, dependent Astoria. How could he be there for her when he was so instinctually selfish? His mind didn't look for an answer. He was also fond of giving up.

He heard the lock click.

_Damn it, she's early. _Of course. How could he ever expect karma to be on his side?

* * *

I blew my bangs out of my face tiredly, watching the key jiggle itself around the doorknob while balancing a grocery bag. It opened with a click and the key flung itself into my back pocket.

When walked in, dropping the bag on the table with a thud, I was surprised to find Draco sitting stiffly on the bed. His expression was painful.

"Hey, babe." I said, walking over. I cupped his face in my hands, pressing his forehead to my cheek gently. "Are you sick? You look flushed."

He shook his head and pulled away just as softly, standing and moving slowly to be opposite of me by a few feet. We stared at each other.

Suspicion replaced concern. "What's wrong?"

"Your mother called."

"What's wrong?"

He flinched at the repetition. "She…." He hesitated for a second, and it annoyed me. He noticed. "Your sister died. I'm really sorry, honey," He added quickly, eyes sincere.

I felt stupid. The words were wrong. "Daphne?"

He nodded, still looking as confused as I probably did. Draco hated things like this. I felt sorry for him, for the way he was so nervous his hands were shaking. My mouth was open, eyes tight. I didn't understand.

"Wait, but…?"

"She was, um, killed." Now he was crying, but he swiped the tears away just as quickly, and I saw now that anger was creeping up throughout him.

I mirrored him instantly, the tears coming before I had a chance to understand. "But…who?"

"I don't know who. I'm sorry."

Daphne, killed.

Comprehension eased into my mind and poisoned it with so many images I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt myself plop into the rocking chair, my head sinking into my hands. Draco's hand was on my back suddenly, and I flinched away from it.

His eyes scanned me softly. "Astoria, I…."

"Don't." I hated how thick my voice sounded, and realized I was sobbing. My chest heaved, and I made a sound that was something like a cry.

Draco watched me, sad and nervous and desperately uncomfortable.

My mind was overcome quickly by memories of my sister, trying to fill the gap were she was now labeled under missing in my heart.

* * *

_The window across the room creaked open, and I jerked up, rubbing my eyes._

"_Shhh. It's nothing. Go to sleep."_

_Daphne was by my bed, inching my shoulders back down, and her hair fell into my face. I swiped it away, annoyed._

"_Daph! Is that a boy?" I arched my neck up as the window gave another creaky jerk open, and Daphne grinned._

"_Listen, I know what you're thi—"_

"_You snuck out last night! And the night before that, and—"_

"_Alright, okay. I don't need a lecture, Saint Astoria." She smiled again, pulling on her socks._

_A handsome boy peeked through the window, obviously balancing himself on a ladder. He looked at Daphne's figure, bent over looking for her shoes, then noticed I was awake, and nervously gave a little wave. I rolled my eyes._

"_Shhh. We're just going to the park to talk. Promise," She added, seeing my skeptical expression. She turned and glanced at the boy, waving him away._

"_Be down in a minute, Cam."_

_He nodded, looking warily at me, but climbed down obediently._

"_Daphne…" I whined, and she held a finger to my lips._

"_Listen, 'Storie, I really like this guy. He's like…my prince," She said, sighing happily, "You know I'm an adventurous gal. And someday, you'll love a boy too. And you'll do crazy things like sneaking out through the window to see him."_

_I stuck my tongue out in disgust. Boys had cooties. She laughed._

"_Someday soon, little sister."_

_She stood and lifted herself gracefully out the window, blowing me a kiss before sliding down to run away with her prince._

_

* * *

_

Draco Malfoy had many flaws. He wasn't patient, he wasn't giving, and as he held his heartbroken fiancée in bed that night, he knew he could never be labeled as kind.

Lying there, he remembered how his father spoke of the muggles as foolish creatures. But their beliefs had always interested Draco. Some of the spoke of a sort of afterlife, two different places; and where you went was decided by how you lived your life.

He flinched. Astoria would surely go to Heaven. And he would surely go to Hell.

You see, there was one skill he brandished as frequently and as skillfully as he needed to, and the more he used it, he found, the more horrible a person he was.

Draco Malfoy was an excellent liar.


	11. Chapter 11

_I glanced at the clock. Deep breath._

_Could morning really come any slower? I pieced apart my hair and began slowly weaving at the very top, making my fingers ache slightly. I'd been braiding and unbraiding it all night._

_In exactly 7 hours, I would be on a train heading towards my very first year at Hogwarts. Straight as a pin, my suitcase and all the wonderful fresh robes and books inside it lay near the edge of my bed. The excitement was eating at my nerves, my blood pressure, my eyes…_

_My eyelids betrayed me, feeling ten times heavier as soon as I thought this, until a creaking sound jerked me back into consciousness._

_Daphne peeked her head through the window at the far end of the room, across from our beds._

"_Hey you," She said, swatting a shock of sandy hair out of her eyes. She leaned her elbow on the sill casually and waggled her eyebrows. "Can't sleep?"_

_Despite my valiant efforts, I felt my lips purse with impatience. "You really should stop sneaking out so late."_

_A grin lit up Daphne's face. "Oh, shut up."_

_She hoisted herself into the room with a giggle, kicking off the tree branch near the edge of the ladder, and then latched the window closed softly. For her, it was all procedure. My heart still pumped away, filled with night-before-the-first-day adrenaline and uncertainty. I heard my voice speak before I thought about it._

"_Daphne?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Were you happy to be sorted into Gryffindor?"_

_Daphne's face was blank as she tied her hair back. I watched her carefully, trying to pick up some sort of subliminal message of whether or not that would be the house for me._

_She plopped herself onto my bed. "I wasn't disappointed, if that's what you're asking. Lots of cool people in Gryffindor. But… I was surprised."_

_I turned to look at her. "Surprised? Mom was a Gryffindor, though."_

"_And dad was a Ravenclaw." She tapped my nose thoughtfully. "But it really doesn't have to do with genes, Astoria. Actually…I was expecting to be a Slytherin. I had it set in my mind, to be honest. It wasn't that I disliked the other houses. I just thought…none of them suited me other than Slytherin."_

_I pondered this. Now that I looked at it this way, Daphne seemed to be a Gryffindor in every right; She was spicy, adventurous, brave, and more bold than me or mom. She was Daphne, who laughed the loudest in every room, the one that snuck out to see boys and was always first to cannonball into the freezing lake near our house on the first day of spring._

"_You…you think you should be in Slytherin?"_

"_No." Her voice was calm, interrupting my rant smoothly. "I'm a Gryffindor, truly."_

"_But…?"_

_She just smiled softly, pulling me closer. We leaned side by side against the wall, our feet hanging off the side of the bed._

"_Astoria, where you belong will all make sense once it's official. The sorting hat knows so much more about you than your labels." She elbowed me playfully. "Just because you're a nerd, you don't automatically get put in Ravenclaw. Just because you've got guts doesn't mean you'll get put in Gryffindor. Just because you're the friendliest person in the world doesn't mean you'll get put into Hufflepuff. And just because you're a snarky little thing doesn't mean you'll get sorted into Slytherin."_

_My tears felt hot in my eyes. "What if I get sorted into the wrong house?"_

"_No way that will happen. Trust me." Daphne kissed my cheek and flung herself into her own bed. "Now get some sleep, squirt! We've got an exciting day tomorrow!"_

I started another pot of coffee, focusing in on the black whirling around the center. It'd been 4 days since my sister had been killed, and the little sleep I'd been cruising off of wasn't enough anymore.

My mother had been in pieces when I'd seen her two days ago. Father was withdrawn, remorse-stricken with silence. We cried together, remembering everything about Daphne. All the stories and memories I could think of came pouring out of my mouth like a waterfall as I hugged the floral couch and sipped my mom's blackest tea, Daphne's favorite. Draco, however, stayed outside during this flow of recollection; I waved it off as giving us privacy and left it at that. He had never been well with emotions strong as grief and love, and I accepted that.

The dark liquid sputtered, drowning itself. I leaned forward slowly, tiredly hypnotized, the tip of my nose touching the warm glass.

"Astoria?"

I swung around, bumping Draco slightly. I straightened myself.

"Oops," I muttered.

Draco lifted my chin, smoothing his fingers over my cheek like it was the wing of a bird. It's how he always touches me now, like I'm some kind of kitten on the side of the road. Even his voice came out soft. "It's alright, love." He kissed my forehead.

I flinched back at the contact, and then noticed his expression and felt immediately guilty. I placed my hand on him, gently working my way up his inner thigh and waist and chest and then neck. I massaged it gingerly.

"I'm sorry." I gave a tiny gasp, and tears started flowing.

He enveloped me in his arms, and I wrapped myself around him, crying harder until I dried out.

"Sweetheart, why don't we dine out tonight? You need a lovely evening out of this apartment. I know the perfect—"

I froze a little. "No, thanks."

Draco swallowed, trying to look understanding, but I could tell there was something he was antsy about. I pulled away silently.

He cleared his throat. "I'm going to take a shower."

I nodded. He stared, then left.

And I went back to the bed and cried some more before falling asleep.

"_Greengrass, Astoria."_

_I hopped out of my place at the first years' table, trying not to look too anxious. A quick glance to my left, Daphne was beaming at me through her flock of red-and-yellow-scarved friends. I took the steps one at a time before sitting gracefully upon the huge red chair. Headmaster Dumbledore was only a few feet away._

_The hat was heavier than expected, and the brim covered right over my eyes so all I could see in place of the dining room was warm, worn material._

"_Hello, pretty," The hat quipped, so close to my ear no one else would be able to hear, "Let's see where I can fit you…"_

_I breathed slowly, feeling my heart inflate with excitement, yet my stomach was sinking with nerves. Another breath. Did I belong in Gryffindor with Daphne and my mother? Ravenclaw with my father, perhaps?_

_The voice chimed in. "Gryffindor, you say? Hmmm, interesting."_

_I swallowed. Did the hat hear me think?_

_Smug tone."Yes, darling...Now let's see here: Certainly you're no coward. But obviously you have no sense of leadership. You have a nice, full heart, of course… loyalty is strong…maybe Hufflepuff is the place for you…."_

_My throat tightened._

"_Hmm… but there are other things to consider, of course. Not as much of a backbone as your sister, you would reach lengths, oh yes. Very precise, I see. Ravenclaw is mentionable, yes? But you don't seem to have any specific wisdom about you, just a young cleverness…"_

_The brim opened for just a flicker while the hat whispered to me, just enough for me to see the Great Hall was moving in super-slow motion outside. I opened my mouth to speak aloud but the hat shushed me._

"_Pay no attention to that. I think I know where to put you, pretty. You're analytical, determined, yes, but there's something much stronger than that. An inner radiance about you. My dear girl, you are a sweetheart."_

'_A sweetheart'? My stomach fluttered. Was she going to put me in Hufflepuff?_

"_The kind of kind where you would be needed. Yes, your inner fire. It's heart-filled ambition. I know it. You have goals to reach, my kind little child. Although you value trust and love, yes! You would be such a good addition. Better be a SLYTHERIN!"_

_And then the Great Hall came into full sight, and the green-covered table to the far right burst into applause. At the Gryffindor table, my sister was the one standing up and clapping._

_I passed her on my way back down._

"_I'm so glad it's over!" I gasped, flourishing my new green scarf._

_Daphne helped me tie it on, and I noticed quickly how most of the Gryffindor table seemed to be looking at me strangely. Daphne noticed too, and waved them away._

"_Don't worry about them, 'Storie, they all got staring problems." She hissed, throwing a poison glance at the rest of the table. She grinned back at me. "My baby sister is a Slytherin!"_

_I laughed nervously. "Man, it took forever too. The sorting hate didn't know where to put me!"_

_Daphne's grin vanished slowly. "What do you mean? It was on your head for only like 3 seconds."_

_And so my Hogwarts adventure began._


	12. Chapter 12

Happy Thanksgiving, readers. Or at least, the last ten minutes of it over here. That is, if you even celebrate it over where you are. Either way, I hope you had a great day. :)

Thank you very much for the messages and reviews, constructive criticism and nice comments alike. Every time my phone beeps with a new follower alert, I get all fuzzy inside. I know the story is getting a little rough, and I have seemingly changed things that were wonderful about the HP series (Although totally murdering Lucius' name wasn't intentional...shameful, really, I know...) but I hope you'll stick around to see what I pull outta my mind next.

* * *

"No! No!"

My body jerked itself upward, a cold sweat engulfing my temples. I gasped, clutching my stomach, terror filling itself up in the dark. Next to me, Draco sat upright slowly.

"Astoria? What's wrong?"

I didn't turn to look at him. I felt his sigh vibrate the sheets and it made my stomach churn worse. He was unhappy, I was unhappy. A shadow twirled in the darkness. He didn't reach out to touch me.

"Draco," I cried lightly, and his hunched-over figure sitting next to me stiffened.

"Yes?" Forced.

"I'm a mess."

No reply.

I took in a jagged breath. "When was the date we were thinking of for the wedding?"

He froze slightly, and I realized how ignorant it was of me to forget. I opened my mouth to try to take back his hurt feelings, but he interrupted me slowly.

"Next month."

I flinched.

"You want to cancel it?"

"No, but…" I trailed, unable to find the right words, and he ran his fingers through his hair impatiently. I buried my face in the covers, feeling full the weight of agonizing nerves and unwound fears. My feelings were pushing themselves out through my throat.

"I really, truly…I love you," I finished quietly, as if that would explain things.

He didn't reply, but I heard the words in his throat; His arm slid under my waist, his fingers caressing over the small of my back. I swallowed painfully.

"Do you still love me?" I croaked, and then I felt his lips brush my cheek. He rested his nose against my ear.

"I still love you."

The answer was almost too simple, but why shouldn't it be? I felt guilty suddenly, angry, something… and every time I tried to put it together, I saw only myself in the way. The back of my throat ached with tears. "I haven't been a very good fiancée at all," I said. "You've always been excellent."

Silence. I continued.

"You've never turned your back on me. You're just the perfect man, and I'm—"

"Perfect is the wrong word on so many levels, Astoria."

"What do you mean? You defy your own parents for me, practically turn your back on your family, you're always so honest and sweet and—"

He pulled away from me. "Shut up."

His voice wasn't harsh, but it silenced me immediately, like a quick slap to the face. Another sigh, this one frustrated.

"I-I'm sorry. I just… God damn it, Astoria, I'm not a good man, okay? Just stop."

There seemed to be a thickness about the air. I wanted to choke inside it. What did he mean, he wasn't a good man? I know about his past, and that's okay with me. He knows that, doesn't he? I looked down at the bed and the space between us, and it all felt so uncomfortable when pieced together. I didn't want to go to sleep like this.

"Draco, can we please go back to loving eachoth—"

"I lied."

Slap in the face. I kept my voice even but my reply came out sharp. "What?"

"I lied about your sister, I know who killed her. Your mother didn't recognize his name but I… know him." A scowl. What the hell did he have to scowl about?

I crawled over him until I was on his lap, my gaping face 3 inches from his. "Who killed my sister?"

His hands tightened into fists, speaking both regretfully and selfishly tiresome at the same time. "Rodolphus Lestrange. He had some help from his….wife."

A vision flashed through my mind of Draco's horrible, psychotic aunt and her dirty husband, and a single whimper escaped my throat.

_I took a quick left down the corridor, checking over my back every so often just in case a professor was close behind._

_I'd just completed my plan: sneaking into Professor Flitwick's room and placing my late essay carefully onto the pile with the others, where it would fit right in before the grading period. Free credit for me; It would boost my grade to nearly perfect. I smiled proudly as I snuck through the cold hallways. All I needed to do was get back through the Slytherin common room and slip into the girls' dormitory like nothing had ever happened. Cake. The dungeons were just nearby._

"_Legilimency." I whispered to door, and it gave a heavy creak as I opened it and squeezed myself through. Another creak to close it. Damn. I gave a small prayer Professor Snape wouldn't catch me and turned the corner to the common room._

_To my surprise, a small lamp was on. I squinted, seeing a skinny Slytherin boy come into sight, pacing the room back and forth, alone. He looked gaunt, haunted by something I couldn't put my finger on; but I recognized it as warmly as if I had lived it. He turned his blond head up quickly and noticed me before I could hide. His expression gave away the clue that I'd given him a fright, and I fought back a smile._

"_What're you doing out of bed?" he snarled, obviously heated up about something. I cleared my throat awkwardly, squaring my shoulders._

"_Turning in a paper." I replied casually, trying to look cool._

_He glared at me. "Hah. What're you, a first year? It's not even 10. Snape could've caught you and you would've cost us points."_

_I squinted at him again, wondering what the hell his problem was. Slowly my eyes rested upon a single potion sitting against the table, just barely hidden by his leg. I recognized him suddenly._

"_Oh…Draco Malfoy," I said, and then a rush of memories clipped up throughout my mind. I grinned, fighting off the urge to hug my childhood friend._

_He shot me an ugly look. "Yeah, hey, Draco Malfoy, here I am. Get your ass to bed." He ordered, still trying to block the potion from my view._

_I didn't move, now scowling. Was he this snarky in my memories? No, my mind supplied, because you loved him. I squinted my eyes at him, and my heart filled with the longing that he'd remember me. I( thought of my young self, sassy and precise._

"_Maybe I'm up having a promenade around the common room just as you are," I sniffed, crossing my arms._

_Draco sighed impatiently, finally collapsing on the couch. "Who the bloody hell are you?"_

"_You don't know?"_

_His eyes searched mine, and something clicked into place._

"_Astoria," He breathed, and it came out like a hiss._

_I gave a satisfied smile. "How are you, Draco? It's been so long….do you remember—"_

_He slumped on the couch, still scowling, but I could tell it was half-hearted. The way his glances kept nervously meeting mine made me happy; He did remember, he was interested._

_He spoke curtly. "I'm fine."_

"_I really was turning in a paper, you know," I continued, trying to keep my tone light and conversational._

"_Well, aren't you a peach?" Draco shot back, and I ignored his harsh sarcasm._

"_Well," I said, more softly, sitting down on the couch across from his, "I'm not the one down here worriedly pacing the common room all alone at night."_

_He scoffed at me, his voice filled with all kinds of poison, but frayed at the ends. "Worried. You don't even know the half of it."_

_The potion caught my eye again, but I decided to ignore it. That topic could be for another conversation another night. I took a deep breath and slumped comfortably against the couch just as he was._

"_I have time."_


	13. Chapter 13

Hey Readers. I'm home sick so I came up with this little addition to BAM. It's just a memory, but a rather long one, so I hope you enjoy it :)

The real storyline will return next update. Have a great week! xx C

P.S. : For those of you who don't like fluffy endings, I'm sorry for this. I just had to break away from the grief-filled little mess that has become our main character. Goodbye :)

* * *

_A small but still recognizable pop echoed through the silent crowd._

"_Draco. Gum." I hissed, raising my hand quickly to his face._

_He shot me a sour look before spitting it down to me quietly, and then proceeded to slump in his chair. I shot him another glance, and with a tiny moan of reluctance he sat straightly again._

_I tucked the gum in a tissue paper and popped it out of existence swiftly, scowling. "Would it kill you to behave?"_

"_Maybe when this damn ceremony puts me to sleep."_

"_Well, if that's how you feel about it, just go. Apparate to Diagon Alley and get yourself a baby bottle while you're at it," I snapped._

_He continued on as if he hadn't heard me. "Why are we here, anyways? You've never even seen your uncle…"_

"_I sent him owls when I was younger, and during the holidays all my life! And besides, when family members die, you go to see them off. It's policy. It's a funeral!"_

_He snorted, and the woman sitting in front of us turned around and gave me a dirty look. I smiled pleasantly, stomping on Draco's shoe under the chairs._

"_Oh, look. There it goes," He sighed, his eyes following the floating casket with its descend towards the ground. "Bet you we'll be out of here in no time."_

_I licked my lips, squinting at the grave carefully. Flowers were popping in bloom all around it from the other guests, and the sound of crying grew. Through it, I discerned the small sound of the funeral conductor's deliberate tears, and just beside him stood my mother, her face pallid and tears running unhurried down her cheeks. She caught my gaze and held it, giving me a small, tender smile._

"_Wouldn't count on that," I muttered._

"_What? Why?"_

"_We have to talk to my mom, Draco. And all the other family members that approach us. It's a funeral." I added again, as if I had to once more justify it._

_He bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes uneasily sweeping over the 50 blotchy, poignant faces. The way his eyes were bulging slightly, I could tell he wished he would've memorized their names._

_I put my hand on his knee, rubbing it gently, and he wove it around his own. My eyes flicked up at him solemnly._

"_Pull it together. All you have to do is say 'hello, lovely to meet you' and 'so sorry for your loss'. It's not that serious."_

"_Your mum doesn't even like me—"_

"_That's a lie! They've all been quite excited to my boyfriend for—"_

"_That's a lie!" He jeered back, just a little too loudly._

_The hotheaded lady sitting in front of us 'hmmph"d distastefully before moving to another chair._

_Draco smirked amusedly. "Good riddance."_

_I pinched his hand, and he sniggered before leaning close to me, his nose against my temple._

"_Well, can we at least get away for a little while?" He asked slowly. I knew that tone. I pretended to look down at my nails, picking at them nervously._

_I'd never had very many boyfriends growing up— they seemed unimportant to me. The only experience I'd ever had with boyfriends were the ones Daphne had, and sneaking out at night to do naughty things never struck me as the fun thing to do._

_But now…an indefinable longing to touch his chest, his face, his hair—anything— ran hot through my blood._

_Daphne would be so unbelievably smug right now._

_I glanced up at him. Handsome face, persuasive smile, gray pools of eyes. If I'd had more practice with guys, I wouldn't have found all this quite as dangerous as I did then._

"_Sure," I whispered back._

_He took my hand again, and we stole away through the back before my mother could notice._

_We ended up in the garden near the back, protected by tall, pretty trees. Well, at least I saw them as protection. Draco saw them as cover._

_He tucked us away behind them and began kissing me quickly, taking me surprise for a second, but I caught on. I tangled my hand through his hair, following his lead._

_You know those moments when your heart feels smothered? Not a good smothered, just completely compressed with the action and excitement of the moment. I tried to decide it was love, because love was general and cliché and served as an answer for everything. I found that I couldn't._

_It occurred to me that people enjoyed that feeling, embraced it, even…but I wasn't that kind of person. I was fully aware of his hand sliding to the back of my dress. The knowledge of what he was looking for came to me as a surprise. I pulled back slightly, my arms sliding down his shoulders. He ignored it, still pressing himself against me._

"_Draco," I whispered at a breath, "Stop."_

_He obeyed slowly, but his eyes were impatient. "Astoria, we have time—"_

"_I don't want you to do that," I said, snatching his wandering hand and putting it back safely on my waist._

"_I wasn't going to try anything," He said, and I couldn't tell whether his voice was annoyed or defensive._

_I didn't reply, still trying to catch myself up on the fact that I'd just pushed this gorgeous boy off myself. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment, my eyes trying to find a safe part of him through his eyes. _

_His expression changed to something unreadable, but I didn't care as long as it meant the smothered feeling was over._

"_Look, let's just go home, then," He said blankly, pulling my elbow softly out from behind the trees._

"_Oh, honey, there you are!" My mom's voice rang from a little ways away, and both Draco's head and mine snapped up at once to see her making her way over to us quickly._

_Her eyes scanned Draco holding my arm the way he was, and they narrowed onto his face for a half-second. He dropped it at once, and my mother cleared her throat, turning her eyes slowly away from him and onto me._

"_Darling, they're announcing the will soon. Come on, I believe he left something for you," She took my hand, already leading me back towards the courtyard at once. Draco followed hastily, still upset._

"_Here, come sit," She directed me as soon as we'd come, and I squeezed to make room for Draco beside me as the funeral conductor continued._

"_Friends, we have one last tribute on our agenda for today. I was informed that a week before his untimely death, Robert Cornelius Nettles wrote his last official will and testaments, which I will read before you now today._

"'_It has been brought to my attention that with the current state I'm in, writing a will would be a preferable if not depressing way to pass my time in this hospital. If you are reading this now, it means my soul has passed through space and time and my life has been ended by some circumstances unknown. I'd like to thank the many people who made me the man I am, or was, but unfortunately they're just going to have to feel it somewhere in their hearts as they read this, for I was only given one piece of parchment to write on. For that reason, I only have three parties to divide what little personal belongings of interest I have._

_To my two children, I give my small fortune, in the hopes that they will use it to better their lives in a positive way and pursue their dreams. I also give them all the quilts my mother had sewn and my two dogs, Flopsy and Mopsy. Kids, although I am uninformed about the ways and rules of death I will do everything in my power to watch over you, even when you feel I'm gone._

_To my beloved sister, Mrs. Aurora Elizabeth Greengrass, I give all my knick-knacks, recipes, and the color-changing drapes on the second floor guest room, because I know how you've been longing them for some time."_

_My mother smiled through her tears, and I gripped her hand tightly._

"_And finally, to my only niece, Astoria Greengrass, I give all my parchment, quills, and books, in reason that she will never run out of anyone to write to or read about. To her boyfriend, Mr. Malfoy, whom I have been told is Slytherin by my sister's owl just this week, I offer my great-grandfather's serpent cufflinks, for they have been told to bring power and intelligence in a man's attitude, with the hopes that he will protect my Astoria well."_

_My eyes widened, turning to Draco immediately. He was still staring at the funeral conductor, his mouth gaping slightly._

_All eyes were on him as the conductor passed our things out, and Draco seemed unsure whether or not to take the dazzling silver and green ovals when they were placed in front of them._

_The conductor thrust them out further to him once more, and he held them up carefully to me._

"_They're really nice," I commented quietly, trying to ignore the stares of the other guests as Draco closed his fist around them gently._

_He squeezed them once, and then sighed, closing his eyes._

_It was then that I realized the strange expression practically dripping off his face was a number of things: Realization of regret, nostalgia, and the tender understanding of a man who had seen a thousand horrible things and lived to tell about them._

_I touched his head gently, smoothing the hair around his temples, and his eyes opened and locked onto mine as the chatter of guests leaving and mingling grew around us and buzzed as background noise. I leaned in farther so our noses were touching._

"_I'm sorry," He said, and when we kissed only a silent, stolen peck, my heart broke from its cage and fluttered free of the uncomfortable compression._

_And that marked the first moment I admitted to myself it was love._


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello, fabulous readers. I have returned from the land of procrastination. Here's the next chapter. :) My sincerest apologies for the wait. Please excuse the cloudy plotline direction.**

**xx, C**

**By any chance that it has been so long you guys can't even remember where I'm going with this whole thing, (I don't blame you at all. So sorry!) Draco just confessed to Astoria that he knew who killed Daphne and didn't tell her. Astoria is currently in the bathroom inside her apartment, where she locked herself in to try and understand this new piece of information. Draco is outside the door trying to reason with her.**

**Annnnnnnd...ACTION.**

* * *

"Astoria."

"Please. Be quiet, please."

I rubbed my temples rhythmically, trying to calm myself. I knew I was acting crazy… somewhere deep down, I think I was beginning to become so.

Everything was too much. I could feel Draco's weight leaning on the other side of the bathroom door, leaning against me in some way he could. On the side of the door I was leaning against, the wood was too cold. The walls were too beige. I shouldn't have turned on the light, because now it was too bright. Within darkness, peace could be found easier. But it was also in the dark that I saw Daphne.

Yes, I am becoming reasonably crazy.

"Darling, come out of there."

Draco's voice was both relaxing and invasive at the same time. I wondered which I wanted, peace or privacy. I suppose they don't always come hand in hand.

I knew if I left, if I went to my parent's house, or maybe a friend's— supposing I had many left from my Hogwarts years— that I would receive neither option. You just can't show up on someone's doorstep filled with insanity-ridden pain and have nothing to say for it. It's just tacky.

I took a deep breath. It was regrettably shaky. Draco scuffled around outside, probably expecting me to come out— I was smart enough to hex the doorknob permanently locked by my own will— but instead I leant forward and pressed my forehead to the door.

"What are we going to do, Draco?" I asked, my voice tighter than I had anticipated.

"I don't know. I imagine… you would want to call off the wedding." He said.

"For now," I added.

He hesitated. "Yes. For now."

We were silent for a moment. I hoped Draco would keep speaking, to try to fill the hole between us. The other half of me, the bitter half, didn't want him to and wouldn't expect such a shady person to be capable of talking purely for the indication of admitting he was wrong. These thoughts hollowed me until something had to be said. I figured the best time to get into a fight would be with a door between us.

"Why would you hide that from me?"

"I don't know, Astoria." He answered, his voice so tiredly blank I had to clench my fists to keep the accusation out of my tone.

"Didn't you think it was important to me, to know that who killed her would have soon become my aunt-in-law?"

"Bellatrix is dea—"

"Dead. Dead. Right, she's dead. So is my sister, Malfoy!" I cried, pounding one of my fists against the bathroom floor. "But your aunt wasn't dead 3 years ago! And you! You knew for longer than any of us knew, didn't you? We all thought Daphne was off on her adventures. Never writing. Never calling. It was just like her, the perfect alibi for your family members. Even when I was in my last year at school. She was dead by then, wasn't she? Before the war inside Hogwarts? She was already dead and I didn't even know!" My voice was getting dangerously high, and I knew it. I lowered it as much as my sobs could control. "And when we got together….She was dead by then!"

There was a silence that lasted at least 3 whole minutes, not that I was counting. I was just about ready to open my mouth and start up again when he spoke.

"Malfoy." He said, his voice soft and quiet. I pressed my ear against the door, trying to hear him better. "You called me Malfoy?"

It was almost as if this statement wasn't a question at all, more so a subtle accusation. I couldn't speak. I didn't trust my words anyways. He didn't disappoint me with silence, but his voice came out a low growl.

"Don't call me Malfoy."

"Why? What does it matter? That's your name. Malfoy. Malfoy. Draco Malfoy!" I cried. I knew how childish it sounded, but I was too far deep. How dare he make such stupid, controlling requests while I was interrogating him about his poor choices? No, not even poor choices…. His plain _stupidity._

As soon as the words slipped out a bang rattled the door and silenced me. I sat back farther, sobbing.

"Why do you have to say it like they did?" He roared, his anger muffled by the wood.

"Like who did? Like all the kids at Hogwarts referred to you as Malfoy? Maybe that's what I mean," I snapped. "Maybe I'm trying to remember a Draco that didn't lie to me!"

"Don't you see, Astoria? There was never a Draco that didn't lie to you!"

This might have been an excellent moment for silence. Preferable, even, because maybe then the pain in my chest would stop aching if I had room to think now. But my tears were much too loud.

Maybe he was right. Maybe the Draco I imagined, that was so honest and patient and handsome….didn't exist and never existed and would never exist at all. I realized this now, it was never even a possibility. So why does it feel as though I'd lost something?

"Astoria," Draco whispered gently after a while.

I sniffled. "Yes?"

"I'm a bad person. I don't think that can change. I don't think I'll change it."

"But…."

"I was always like this, Astoria. I know you think that true love conquers all, and hope springs eternal, and all of that shit, but I was born into this state. I'll die like this," He muttered, and I heard his fingers slowly tracing the door knob, his tired voice just inches away from my ear, smothered by the door.

I tried to follow his tracing fingers with mine, but it was too hard. "I don't love you because you're perfect, or that you think you're perfect."

"Either way, I have to take care of you, and sometimes being the man in charge means lying."

"It doesn't." I sighed, almost kissing the door but stopping myself at the last minute. I couldn't. My fists were still clenched. "And you know, I want to take care of you too. We have to let each other."

He sighed too, but his was frustrated. "What the hell does that mean, Astoria?"

"It means that no more lying is allowed."

"I just told you, I can't—"

"Tell me something. Were you really upset when I called you Malfoy?"

He scoffed. "Like a child again? Yes."

"Why?" I asked him. When he didn't respond, I tapped the door gently. "Honesty, Draco."

"It does remind me of Hogwarts. The years I've had. Cowardly. It connects me to my father in the way it used to, as if I were proud of his actions and wanted them to label me as well…." He trailed off, like his throat was closing up. He paused before speaking, his voice so close to my ear this time I swore I could almost just feel his breath, warm against my cheek through my imagination. My jaded mind clouded in remembrance with the smell of him, but it felt somehow wrong. How could I love him and hate him?

"And calling me Malfoy, like the name is scum, makes the truth sound so much worse. That I could ever stand in front of you as a man for so long, all the while knowing my blood had somewhere shed yours. I only lied when I found out— quite recently, I might add— because I wanted to protect you."

"Well. That plan crashed and failed," I muttered. I was being a bitch. I knew so, in fact. It isn't like the bitterness in my voice was being forced.

"Guess what? That's what happens when you're with me. I don't succeed at anything very often. Prepare to be dragged down with me every day or leave me alone. I'm a Malfoy, after all. I could have easily found some floozy that wants my inheritance and be half-miserable the rest of my life, but I chose you. I chose you and your damn innocent stupidity, your nosy, stubborn attitude, your emotional overload, your annoying insecurity. And your messy lower-class apartment, for that matter." I heard him kick the adjacent wall in frustration, but he was only getting started. The tension was steadily building in his voice. "And you know what? I just thought, hey, I can put up with her because she will put up with me. Me and my lies. I'm just a big pile of fake and I thought you could still love me. I suppose that plan crashed and failed as well, didn't it?"

The bitterness in his words that so closely matched mine silenced me for once. For a long time, actually, until Draco's voice chimed through the crack in the door one last time.

"Goodnight, Astoria."

It surprised me. It was neither hurt nor angry. I wanted to reply, but I didn't trust my words to come out completely lacking those two emotions.

Instead, I unlocked the door and opened it after ten minutes of waiting for his breathing to slow, a wave of fresh air tickling my face. It smelt like Draco, and me, our two scents entwined and dancing throughout the room. He was lying on the ground not far from the door. I wondered why he didn't get into bed and then fancied myself with the thought that he went to sleep listening to my breathing as well.

After only a second's hesitance, I lowered myself next to him and secured myself onto his side, resting my head on his shoulder, and kissing his disheveled hair. He didn't stir, but I got the feeling he knew I was there by the way his arm drooped its way down to my waist.

And here is where the painful, beautiful truth seeps down into my veins and through my body with understanding: He will lie. That is him. Big, tremendous, scary lies that will affect me. It will hurt me. Oh, but here it is: I will always, always, always forgive him, even if it makes me a fool.

I'm a fool.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello, sorry for the painfully short addtion, but I was inspired for the moment. This is also for the people who messaged me asking if Draco had any changing feelings for Astoria this far into the story.**

**I hope you enjoy Draco's view. :)**

* * *

"I love you," Astoria said, barely touching me as her fingertips stroked down my back. The way she voiced it, as if the phrase itself were exhausting, made me sneak a regretful glance at her. Blonde hair crashing lazily against her shoulders, brown eyes dipping low in the purpose of not meeting mine, making them look just as they had been heard: Tired.

God, what we were becoming scared me.

She left the kitchen as fast as she'd come, a child picking for coins and then tottering off before one could ask what the coins were needed for. Something about this made me terribly uneasy. Still, silence was golden in my rule book. Couldn't get you into trouble that way.

_Couldn't get you _out_ of trouble that way, _Something snippy in my head told me. Well, whatever. Wait long enough and something will be given to you, moved forward enough that it's within your grasp, or just plain dissolves along with your problem.

"The world bends for us," My father once told me, his hand firm against my shoulder. His eyes always had their own way of locking onto mine earnestly whenever he felt he had something fatherly to say. Now that I think of it, it could've just been the propaganda of symmetrical family views at work.

Ugh. Speaking of work, I was most likely late.

I flicked my wand wrist idly, bringing forth my tie. It had just started to wind itself around my neck swiftly when Astoria came back, taking it carefully in her hands as if it were a skinny snake without a word. It went limp for her, and she slowly yet skillfully fixed the tie herself, giving it one last tug in conclusion. I had no time to react.

When she looked up from it, she was smiling.

Not a forced smile. Although who could blame her if it had been; they were the kind we were most used to lately, after all.

No, this smile was something precious and patient and forgiving and it brightened up her whole face, just that pink-lipped curve itself. I felt the corners of my own mouth slide up instinctively, taking her waist within my arms.

_This right here, folks,_ I thought as I held her, _this is the grand finale. What I'd miss. Why fighting holds more worth than giving up. I mean, hell. Look at me. Only for her. _

And now is as good a time as any to say that she was beautiful; Beautiful from her forehead to her feet, every curve and line on her body more beautiful than the next. She radiated. I got the very sudden sense that I wanted this woman more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life. So much beauty, a piece in the world, mine. My face flushed hot with desire.

"You okay?" She whispered, her cheek pressed against my chest, and without asking I knew it was to listen to my heartbeat. She was fond of doing that.

"Peachy," I replied, resting my temple against the top of her head. She chuckled, and the familiar golden curls- Though she called them waves- cascaded down her back with the movement of her shoulders. I drew her closer before she could pull back.

"Aren't you going to be late for work?" She asked innocuously, and I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a deep breath.

"Astoria, darling, my world bends for you."


	16. Chapter 16

I don't know who's been promoting me the last couple days, but my number of readers just shot up. Thank you so much for your support. :) I'm really glad to have you guys along to read the story I'm spinning.

Today, I've got another flashback for you guys. It's built off an earlier flashback, from the end of chapter five. If you'd like to go back and read it, it is painfully short. If not, here's a quick summary: Astoria visits Draco to ask him to play. He lets her in because his parents aren't there, as he is home alone and under the weather. Astoria offers to stay to keep him company, and makes him tea. They are in their before-Hogwarts, young-budding-curious-strong-friendship phase during this time in the story.

I hope you like it! :)

* * *

_"Draco?" I asked, watching the tea boil nervously. The simple task had taken quite an amount of effort, considering the fact that the Malfoy residence, though large and beautiful, was as hollow as a dollhouse. I'd opened one fancy marble-and-black-wood cabinet after another, examining through five sets before finding a couple of pots and the dusty tea kettle in the back. It was as if their whole lifestyle were a painted plastic egg; pretty until you get to the insides, the things that really matter._

_"Mmm?" A voice chimed from the living room— although I doubted there was much living going on there either. I hesitated before replying, choosing to investigate further before questioning him._

_"Can I, um, see upstairs?"_

_"No," He answered, dismissing the thought quickly._

_I pouted silently from inside the kitchen, nodding even though he couldn't see me._

_"Oh, don't be so cross," He whined, as if my thoughts were out loud. "My parents are strict about who goes up there. And let's not forget, you aren't even allowed through the front door." I could clearly visualize the humorous smirk on his face as he said this, but it still stung._

_"I understand. Tea's ready." I put it on one of their metal baking sheets, due to the unsurprising lack of nice platters. Oh well. Being so wealthy, they must have everything they need already._

_"Well, come on with it, then," he called impatiently, and I brought it to the living room with surprising obedience._

_Draco was slumped against one of the enormous dark-leather couches gathered around a small, matching marble table that he had his feet on, crossed over in a lazy stretch. His cheeks were rosy, probably from the fever, but it made him look younger than his almost-but-not-quite-ten-year old self._

_I smiled politely as I sat down on the table next to his feet, not daring to sit next to him on the couch._

_"I don't suppose your mother would be too happy about your feet on these nice tables, would she?" I asked, poking one of his black socks until he put his feet down and sat properly. His frown didn't falter._

_"I think she'd be more caught up with a girl of un-pure blood casually making tea in her house."_

_"Right. Well, she's the one who shouldn't leave her ill son unattended. I mean, we un-pure of blood do have this thing about being kind to abandoned kids."_

_His face flushed. "I'm not abandoned," He muttered, but it was more like he was telling himself than he was telling me. I backed off, realizing I'd crossed a line._

_"Kidding. Here," I said quickly, handing him the freshly-poured cup. He took it, pausing to stare into it a minute before taking a long swig._

_"Well?" I asked, keeping my eyes on him as I took a sip myself, and he nodded._

_"'S good," He said. "Just hot." But he finished the whole cup quickly, and then another._

_We sat there a bit, talking but not quite talking, drinking the alluring tea and staring out the window. As the minutes passed, Draco was obviously fighting a losing battle against sleep. He yawned frequently, but I kept talking, side-stepping through one topic and another until finally his eyelids began to betray him, aided by the tea and the warm leather of the couches, and his breathing slowed to a lulling pattern._

_I waited for five minutes after this to stop talking, finally taking a deep breath and admiring my work. The boy was curled up on the couch, all his bravado and attitude lost, sleeping as peacefully as I'd ever seen someone sleep. I couldn't help it; I took the chance to be affectionate. I stroked his cheek a little, then flinched back as if it were the wildest thing I'd ever done._

_Hmmm…speaking of gutsy acts. There was one other thing that was on my list._

_I put a blanket over my sleeping friend as an act of apology for my next rebellious act._

_Then, I did it. I just jumped off the table and flitted up the stairs quickly, so as not to chicken out at the last minute, and started down the middle like I owned the place. My eyes were wide in curiosity._

_I first passed a long hallway, dotted with doors of various elaborate builds but sharing the same essential gray-stone coloring. All the gray made the house seem even more dull and pristine; yet, I realized with a sense of comfort, they appeared to me the color of Draco's eyes. When I came to what seemed like the middle of the upstairs area, a huge, flamboyant room, embellished with couches of the darkest fabric I'd ever seen, and lamps that glowed green and bright just as the ones in the Slytherin common room do._

_I felt a sense of anxiety about what went on in this room; my stomach fluttered nervously just looking around in it, but maybe that was just my conscious._

_And yet, being young and incredibly stupid, I aimed my tiny fingers for the biggest, most decorative desk drawer I laid my eyes on, sure that something important must be contained there._

_Inside, there was nothing but a mask. A big, skeleton-like mask. I couldn't tell if it was a light color or a dark color; I couldn't comprehend it at all. It sent a chill down my spine that made my mind feel blank. I slammed it closed, but the dead, empty eyes stared back at me behind my eyelids._

_Feeling an indescribable sense of restriction there, I moved quickly to the hallway just adjacent to it, a very short one close to the strange room that had only one door. It was clear who it belonged to, however, from the regal emerald wood. My heart started racing. I swung the door open._

_Being only barely nine, with the biggest crush on a boy I could imagine at that age, I was hoping to take something small and important from this experience: a feeling of confidentiality, a pride that I had seen the room of this dashing enigma of a boy. Hell, I would have taken even just the slightest trace of that sweet, musky smell of him radiating from the walls he inhabits. At that time in our relationship, just learning about the quirks of one another, I was hoping for something simply personal. To my disappointment, I found nothing on that level._

_There were the unsurprising essentials: A bed, a desk, a dresser, all made from the finest woods and silks and silvers money could buy. This isn't what threw me off._

_Everything was clean. Everything was in its place; and there wasn't much of anything to be placed anyways. The air itself seemed to be scrubbed spotless, fresh and odorless. It could have been any rich boy's room. I suddenly felt myself growing steadily worried._

_Where was all the mess? The private hobbies? The blankets you keep since you were little to ward off monsters? There was nothing, no room for him to be himself. The room was just as porcelain-perfect as the rest of the house, neutral, untouched. It contained no personality whatsoever. How could this come about inside the home of a child? 'Home' couldn't even be used to describe this…this was an arrangement of furniture in a building. The house itself was a structure up for showcasing, not for living, really living._

_It was then it occurred to me that maybe Draco didn't have it as good as I had it. And maybe I'd act the way he did as a cover up for this fact as well, if I were in his shoes. By going against his wishes and snooping around upstairs while he was asleep, I was doing what it now seemed like everyone was doing to him: tricking him, using him, when he was most vulnerable._

_The vision of the mask in the drawer returned to me, playing in my mind like it was giving me a message. The subject I'd heard my parents whisper about so many times, the two words that always sneaked through my suspicion. Death Eaters? The sound of the name...it was a slippery, sour grape in my mouth. I tried to crush it with my teeth, but it slipped away at the last second. Draco, Draco._

_The back of my throat ached with the threat of incoming tears._

_I ran back downstairs._

_I shook him awake._

_And then, after I'd gotten his loud opposition at being disturbed quieted, I hugged him._

_Just wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my cheek against the fevered groove of his neck and shoulder. I felt so sorry for him. So much care for this arrogant, skinny little rich boy. I kept hugging. Hugging him tightly, too, only half-aware that this was the closest I've ever been to him my whole life. I got my initial wish then, the delicious pampered-puppy scent of him, and his warm body went stiff from the sudden affection. I only got to hear his heartbeat thump three times before he pushed me off of him. He scowled at me._

_"Stop...Ugh, Astoria! Something wrong with you?"_

_"No. Nothing. Sorry. It's just…I'm thankful to have you as a friend, is all."_

_His eyes changed fast. It was as if I'd pulled a rug out from under him, and his face settled from annoyed to confused to a sort of understanding. His voice, tainted with the fatigue of sickness, came out as soft as I'd ever heard it._

_"Asto—" He began, but I'll never know whether he was thankful to have me as a friend too, because before he could finish, the front door swung open._

**To be continued.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Continued:**

_Draco acted quickly. In one swift movement he pushed me against the leather couch, drowned me in his blankets, and my whole world became dark and muffled._

_"Shh," He hissed, and then the quick clicking of heels echoed across the ceiling. The door slammed shut._

_"Draco?" Narcissa Malfoy called, her voice smooth as silk, wafting through the kitchen entryway like a cold breeze. And yet, I recognized at once that something was off. There must be a reason she had come home early, and without her husband as well. I shivered. If I were caught, it'd all come down to her, and Narcissa was in no merciful mood tonight._

_Draco cleared his throat, making it sound more gruesome than it was, and called hoarsely, "In here, mother."_

_My mouth fell open. He sounded like he was dying all of the sudden….Where had this clever improvisational acting talent been hiding? Draco sensed my surprise, and I felt his back suddenly lying across my thighs from under the blanket. I blushed. The clicking moved closer._

_"What are you doing in here?" She asked, and I heard soft threads rubbing together as she straightened his clothes; as if she couldn't bother to see him so messy._

_"I'm not feeling well. It's horrible," He moaned._

_I thought I knew what she'd say, her voice cooing inside my head, "Oh noo, my pooor baby!" But again, the Malfoy family surprised me. I heard Narcissa's heels back up away from him. Despite this show of indifference, her voice was warmer._

_"I see. Go to your bed, and I'll send a house elf to tend to you." She paused as she studied the room. "You know what I said about spreading your germs in the downstairs area, Draco."_

_"Yes, mother."_

_There was a titter of porcelain as Narcissa tapped her delicate fingernail—or maybe it was her wand, these blankets were blindingly dark— against one of the teacups sitting cheerfully on the cookie sheet on top of the table._

_"Tea?" She asked bluntly._

_"I made it."_

_She hummed in acknowledgement. "Hmm. I didn't know you knew how."_

_Draco snorted. "Even a dog could make tea for itself."_

_My lips twitched into a slight smile._

_"Ah, but I see you brought out two cups?"_

_Suspicion was practically dripping off her tongue; My smile was gone now. I paralyzed myself, anxiously waiting to hear what Draco would say to this._

_"I was thirsty," He snapped, and Narcissa sniffed distastefully and walked off. She was definitely in a bad mood._

_Next thing I knew, I was being lifted in with the huge pile of blankets, arms under my legs and shoulders clutching me hastily. I recognized the cough right by my ear to be Draco, and realized it was him that was carrying me. I held his one of his wrists tightly, scared for my life, but not soon enough. He dropped me by the stairs—Really, dropped me— and I bit my tongue as the blankets smothering me shifted slightly, giving me a sliver of sight into the kitchen._

_Narcissa click-clacked in my view, lace blouse neat and tight against her black pencil skirt. Her icy blonde hair fell over her shoulders—what was she doing? To my horror, I quickly saw the reason Draco froze and why I could see Narcissa clearly now: She was bending over, examining my jacket and shoes, which I had thrown in a heap on the kitchen floor. She turned to Draco slowly._

_"What are these?"_

_Time slowed. My heart pounded. My mouth tasted bitterly metallic from the blood where I had bitten into my tongue. But there was no time to cry, because Draco was already bringing forth another of defensive lies._

_"I—I stole them. From a girl on the playground that was bothering me." He added another ugly cough, as if to distract her from his hesitance._

_There was a thick silence._

_"Don't bring the clothes of other people home. You don't know where they've been."_

_I nearly sighed out loud in relief._

_"Yes, mother." Draco said again, slightly exasperated this time, and came to lift me again. He struggled slowly up the stairs, dropping me and slamming the door as soon as he had hobbled in. I rolled out on top of the blankets. He collapsed next to me._

_There was a moment of silence as we lay there breathing, our hearts racing and our elbows only touching a little bit, but I was still excited by it. That, and the miracle that I had survived certain death._

_He looked over at me at the same time I looked over at him, and after a second of staring at his pale, anxious face, I giggled quietly._

_He smirked at me, and then smiled, and as my giggling became more intense, he laughed with me, our happy voices entwined and uncontrollable._

_"You're stupid," He said, but the way he said it with that overjoyed grin made it clear he didn't think I was stupid at all._

_I laughed again, so slap-happy with leftover adrenaline I couldn't help it. "I can't believe your mom didn't catch us!"_

_His smiling slowed steadily to a stop, calming. "Yeah," He agreed, and then paused thoughtfully as if he had something else to add. He stayed quiet._

_My own smile vanished, mourning the loss of his. I watched his lips closely for a second to see if the ghost of that brilliant smile might come back to me, but it didn't._

_"She seemed…tense tonight," I said carefully, as it seemed we were suddenly walking across land mines, and he just nodded._

_"She believed us though, right? You won't get into trouble, right?"_

_"I don't know, 'Storie." He said, and then suddenly the happy was gone and I was standing by the window and he was thrusting my jacket and shoes into my arms. "You should go now."_

_I nodded slowly, but my chest felt heavy with concern. He jerked open the window._

_"Just climb the tree down," He said, voice detached all over again, and I used his arm for balance as I swung my leg over the side. I didn't really need it, but I wanted the chance to touch him, so maybe he'd come back down to Earth._

_A part of me wanted to say something meaningful, but I was scared, and so I figured the friend comment before Narcissa walked in would be enough to keep him remembering me for a while. The streetlight outside bounced to life as the sun went down, and it reflected in his eyes._

_"I hope you feel better," I said quietly, tweaking his nose. He gifted me with a small, nervous smile, and then mussed my hair when my arms were busy clutching the side of the house. I stuck my tongue out and gliding down the tree with all the grace I had._

_"Astoria?" He called quickly, right before I was to gather my things; I looked up at him hopefully._

_"Yes?"_

_"You'll come again, won't you?" He asked. He paused, as if realizing how desperate that sounded. "I mean, you aren't a completely boring playmate. For an un-pureblood." He added teasingly._

_I pretended to cheer excitedly. "Oh, my. What a wonderful person you are! Why would I ever hang out with other kids, ones who actually like me, when I have you?"_

_"Because you love me!" Draco smirked, and I noticed a dimple on his chubby cheek. "Better run before the sprinklers come on, Greengrass!"_


End file.
